A journal entry from this past week....
November 5, 2011
Three days ago my sister-in-law went in for a routine check-up and discovered that they had had a miscarriage of their six month baby girl. Yesterday she went in so the doctors could induce her and she could deliver the body of my sweet little niece.
Sometimes life makes no sense. I cannot begin to understand the divine purpose behind such sorrow. My heart is utterly broken for my family back home, especially for my brother and sister-in-law who were only 3 months away from delivering a healthy little baby.
My heart can only wonder why for so long, though, because today my brother shares these words:
I have realized the significance of of a single heartbeat.
Each one is a miracle given to us by God.
Cherish each one and make sure it is used
for something greater than yourself.
And now I see, at least in part, that my brother, thrown into unchosen, unwanted circumstances far outside his control, suddenly gets the true purpose of life far more than most of us who walk this planet. In death, he understands life.
Oh how I wish there was another way, one with less pain and equal understanding. But despite the hurt and sorrow I feel for BJ and Jen right now, when I read his words, hear the unusual strength in her voice, my heart can't help but rejoice.
Rejoice - in a time life this?!
Somehow, yes.
Because I believe that these two broken hearts now carry in them a deepness that will influence the rest of their lives.
In death - Life.
In loss - Gain.
In pain - Rejoicing.
Surely only those who trust in the heart of their Heavenly Father can come to such a place. I believe BJ and Jen's future children will be unbelievably blessed with parents who have wisdom, intentionality, and purpose beyond their years. My spirit is challenged by their steadfast faith. And while my heart still breaks for them, it rejoices with them even more loudly.
